Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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