good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i think i have two assholes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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