They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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