I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
