i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
