it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't turn off my feet"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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