First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
