You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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