No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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