nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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