better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
