The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
