Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
