no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
