We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
