I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
