We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
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I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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