We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
