I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
