South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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