Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
