Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
