Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
