You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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