I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
