If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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