Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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