I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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