Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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