Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
handjob tips. give me some.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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