Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth

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  (407): I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth http://tfl.nu/po8w
  Replies (14) Good night (2287) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Sorry I couldn't get my dick out

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  (310): Sorry I couldn't get my dick out http://tfl.nu/ywcl
  Replies (22) Good night (1018) Bad night (6492)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (7125) Bad night (838)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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  (859): Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in? http://tfl.nu/azmi
  Replies (8) Good night (699) Bad night (4081)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"

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  (414): I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?" http://tfl.nu/89sw
  Replies (9) Good night (973) Bad night (3665)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  sarcasm needs its own font

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  (440): sarcasm needs its own font http://tfl.nu/5kc7
  Replies (55) Good night (8570) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.

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  (214): he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day. http://tfl.nu/ey19
  Replies (16) Good night (5263) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  then he tried to convert me to islam

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  (203): then he tried to convert me to islam http://tfl.nu/h9gq
  Replies (23) Good night (1567) Bad night (5179)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again

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  (860): ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again http://tfl.nu/2l19
  Replies (5) Good night (2648) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes

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  (406): i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes http://tfl.nu/smno
  Replies (3) Good night (1900) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.

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  (802): I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms. http://tfl.nu/3zhe
  Replies (9) Good night (579) Bad night (1923)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here

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  (859): Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here http://tfl.nu/0vaz
  Replies (9) Good night (758) Bad night (1565)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's a Tuesday.

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  (+49): I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier! (303): It's a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/jt9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1632) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm abstinent now

  (206): View more from Washington

  Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?

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  (425): I'm abstinent now (206): Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious? http://tfl.nu/6n2f
  Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine

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  (802): Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine http://tfl.nu/d6uq
  Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (255)

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