Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

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  (513): Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives http://tfl.nu/d9wq
  Replies (137) Good night (2525) Bad night (654)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  and?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  RIP clitoris

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  (609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (1-609): and? (609): RIP clitoris http://tfl.nu/1ub6
  Replies (597) Good night (5261) Bad night (102173)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.

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  (484): i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman. http://tfl.nu/dzx3
  Replies (55) Good night (7210) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

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  (910): I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/zk0y
  Replies (14) Good night (1194) Bad night (4091)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.

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  (224): Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped. http://tfl.nu/31qz
  Replies (32) Good night (4028) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.

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  (641): since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing. http://tfl.nu/ihpp
  Replies (10) Good night (6770) Bad night (1732)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing

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  (917): Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing http://tfl.nu/ny0i
  Replies (8) Good night (890) Bad night (4238)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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  (404): There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase http://tfl.nu/jdu6
  Replies (25) Good night (9308) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

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  (702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe
  Replies (17) Good night (3666) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate

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  (217): he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate http://tfl.nu/55wo
  Replies (14) Good night (906) Bad night (2485)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.

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  (309): I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights. http://tfl.nu/c1hf
  Replies (5) Good night (1591) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever

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  (804): time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever http://tfl.nu/4zua
  Replies (6) Good night (1471) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself

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  (843): I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself http://tfl.nu/cqdr
  Replies (6) Good night (1814) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday

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  (541): Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday http://tfl.nu/3cvq
  Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.

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  (978): I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out. http://tfl.nu/uwk8
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (193)

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