I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties