u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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