Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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