what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
