i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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