So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
