If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Pooping to opera.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
