I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
