Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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