Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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