You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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