you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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