So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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