what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
