Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize