3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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