your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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