Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
