My nipple is on Facebook.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
