I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
