Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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