He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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