I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
