i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
