office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
