it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
dude. I can hear the air.
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