therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
