She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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