Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
