hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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