I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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