I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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