Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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