I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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